Many people who have survived a miscarriage initially associate the experience with shock and loss: a loss of life, a loss of self. Here are some words of comfort while you move forward and take this healing journey.
Breathe. When a person experiences a miscarriage, it can affect them spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. The event can be traumatic and may also take a toll on your family or partner. You may feel many things while grieving, from shock and anger to denial and depression. One thing you need to remember? Breathe. Breathe long, breathe deeply. You are in control of your emotions as you heal.
Express. You are not alone in how you are feeling, and there are ways to cope. It can help to talk to other people who have gone through a similar experience. Compassionate Friends offers online and in-person support to the newly bereaved. The Mary Claire Project also provides support and help with funeral arrangements for women after a miscarriage. Also, try not to be afraid of opening up to your partner about how you are feeling. This is a time when you both may be able to heal together.
Commemorate. When you are ready, honoring the time you had during your pregnancy is one of the most important things you can do on your road to recovery. Below are some thoughtful ways you can bring together your loved ones in celebrating the joy you were able to experience:
- Knit a baby blanket or have one made with your baby in mind
- Bead a necklace or bracelet with your baby’s name on it.
- Create a time capsule of cherished items you can bury and revisit
- Plant a tree in honor of your pregnancy
- Paint a canvas with symbols that honor your experience
Congratulate. After we’ve experienced a miscarriage, it is natural and normal for us to experience feelings of jealousy and longing when we see new parents with their babies. Keep in mind that the journey is a rollercoaster, and while those feelings may come up today, they might not tomorrow, and no reaction is wrong.
Read. Reading can help soothe our minds as we accept the experiences of miscarriage. There are a number of books you can read that offer advice on the next steps that may resonate with you. These books offer information on topics ranging from tips for fathers who are grieving to how to speak to children about miscarriage. Carson’s Village is also available to assist you with any questions you have or arrangements you need.
Sleep. It is difficult to show up in the world when you don’t feel like yourself — this will take time and patience. To reach peace of mind with a clear head, ensure you are getting all the rest you need, even if that means taking small breaks throughout the day or heading to bed a little earlier than usual. If it helps, call a friend or family member before you head to bed to talk for a few minutes.
We know this hasn’t been an easy experience for you. Even if Carson’s Village can’t provide what you are looking for, we still want to put you in touch with someone who can. Visit our contact page and let us know what you need.