Reconciliation Needs

Dr. Wolfelt introduces the idea that there are tasks or things that we need to do to travel in a healthy way through grief.  These needs help balance the loss in a way that we can look forward.

  • Accepting the Reality of the loss:  While this sounds easy, it may involve reliving the events leading up to the death daily, or even interrupting the course of your day.  This is a time for patience. Know that the intensity of these reactions will decrease with time.
  • Embrace the pain of the loss:  This is not something you generally would want to do.  By confronting your pain you learn to reconcile it, to heal the wound we call mourning.
  • Remembering the person who died:  Memories of your loved one are the most precious gift you can give yourself.  For a time these may cause more pain. Remembering the past as it was can help in healing your future.
  • Reinvesting in your life:  What role did your loved one have in your life – wife, husband, mother, father?  Learning how to continue living without them will take effort. You may need to find support from others to help.
  • Searching for meaning:  It is natural to question the meaning and purpose of life when a loved one dies.  Many have shared how their faith and grief have come to a crossroads. This is a normal part of mourning.


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